Hello. Welcome to phase 2.

Woa there. Stop a horse. This blog has been neglected. There is no reason except that it’s shit, we’re shit and blogs in general are shit.

But I’ve come to the conclusion that my time could be more profitably spent writing innane bollocks on the internet than doing my actual job.
I say me, there is another half to this blog, she hasn’t got a proper job (hippy) so I’ll tell her to wrtie some crap too just to keep it balanced and not too gay/punk/nerdy. Though she may obsess about PJ Harvey which is probably all of those things combined.

So so so, all I have to do now is think of things to write. So here goes:

1. Paul Baribeau. Ordinarily I don’t like acoustic music. Well, ok, not don’t like, I just usually find it incredibly boring. So when people recommend me acoustic music or singer/songwriter music, I do one of 3 things:
i) Pretend I’ve already heard the artist in question so I can say, “meh, not really my kind of thing” without someone forcing me to listen to them.
ii) Tell them to fuck off, I only like fast music.
iii) Look at them witheringly.

Therefore, imagine my surprise when I discovered a song by Paul Baribeau on the Fest 7 compilation called ‘Ten Things’ which I actually thought was frakking amazing (incidentally I make no excuse for the use of any sci-fi swear words). Go listen to it on his myspace. So, I’ve now decided I will give acoustic music in general more of a sporting chance before I dismiss it, but as I’m too proud and stupid to accept recommendations and I’ve got a big list of better things to get into, this resolution won’t really result in any action. But at least now people can’t criticise me about being too close minded. Well, they can, but i’ll just wave my Paul Baribeau cd at them.

2. Kara Thrace (a.k.a. Starbuck) and Doctor Who.
i) Ok, so me and possibly ever other lesbian who likes sci-fi ever, love Starbuck. It isn’t just the looks of course, it’s the entire personality. The fighting, the drinking, the cigar smoking, the flying skills, the intelligence, the insanity, the heroics, the strategic thinking, the gambling, the sexuality, the ‘fuck you’ approach to authority, the independence…I could go on to post screen shots demonstrating just how cool she is, but really, if you don’t know, you should go and watch Battlestar Galactica. (Don’t worry, the crux of the piece is forthcoming.)

ii) Before the new Doctor Who was announced a little while ago, I had a discussion with a few people on the internet about the possibility of the new Doctor being a woman. I’m not a massive Who fan, but the couple of people who were said that the idea was a pretty ridiculous one and would never work. After getting into some petty squabbling and dsicussions about the limitations of the Doctor’s physical transfomation with each regeneration, one of the guys said that the reason the Doctor couldn’t be a woman was that there were just some fundamental differences between men’s and women’s personalities, even if this isn’t anytihng to do with genetics, being gendered is pretty much an inevitable result of being brought up in our society. Therefore the Doctor could not be a woman because a woman could not have the Doctor’s personality, which is ‘male’, and fans would not accept this. (The people I were talking to actually said they think it could work with the right script but it would be much harder, so they’re not total arses or anything.)

iii) Starbuck’s personality could also be typified as ‘male’. More so, in my opinion, than the Doctor’s. No-one has a problem with Starbuck being female except the guy who played the old Starbuck, who it’s generally agreed upon (by me) as being a complete and utter dick (see here). For me, if you just wrote a normal Doctor Who script but had a woman play the part, it would be believeable. And can you imagine what a great role model that would be for kids? For all the male heroes little boys get to grow up watching, here would be a female hero that little girls could aspire to be, and it would show all those little boys that women can be heroes to be admired too. The negative, that fans would have trouble accepting a female Dcotor, does not outweigh the positive impact it could have on our culture. Masculinity is not owned by men.

Fuck, well, that was just two things but it took me long enough. See yer.

Harry Potter and the fucking shite epilogue

I am probably not the only one disappointed by the ending of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, it was a rubbish ending after all.

You know, all I wanted, after following the character’s for 7 years, was to find out what they did next with their lives. We’re led into believeing these are the greatest wizards and witches of their generation, and all we get to know about their future is that they get married and have children?!

Its sickening. If you’re going to have an epilogue after a massive important battle and defeat of the darkest wizard in wizarding history, it can’t just be about how everything is lovely and normal and gosh aren’t we glad that nasty bit of trouble is over and isn’t it lucky it didn’t have any profound impact on our lives or the wizarding commmunity. It has to be worthy of the emotional investment the reader has in the characters and the story, we all guessed that Ginny and Harry, and Ron and Hermione would end up together back in the second book, it doesn’t take a great leap of imagination to think that possibly, after they all survived the big ass battle, that they might get it on. I don’t want to have to read the blinding obvious. I want to know who these people became, what they achieved and how they changed. NOT ABOUT FUCKING CHILDREN.

half-hearted feminism

I did get angry about this stuff before. But I can’t stay angry forever so I’ll settle for being mildly annoyed.

a) There is a new film called “It’s a Boy Girl Thing”. I know this because I watched too much tv with my family over Christmas.

i) If I woke up in someone else’s body I think I would be running to the doctors, or at least trying to figure out what happened to me properly, in fact you might say it would occupy all my time. I would most definitely not just pretend to be that other person and get on with life in a ho-hum sort of manner. I would be pretty fucking scared.

ii) Ok so a boy and girl switch bodies. Apart from the obvious ’shit I’m in someone elses body’, this is no big deal. Why does it have to be a big deal. Why is everyone so fucking obsessed with this bollocks idea that boys and girls are so different that to live in the body of the opposite sex for a while would be really hard to cope with. THEY’RE JUST ANOTHER FUCKING PERSON.

iii) Maybe I didn’t go to enough sleepovers as a teenager (which is likely cus I think I went to maybe two max.), but do any girls seriously have pillow fights in their underwear? Does that never seem a bit gay? I mean, I know I like girls, but even if you’re straight would you not be thinking, hang on this is a bit erotic? Its one step away from mudwrestling. And no-one can be naive enough to think thats all about the sport.

b) We get the Guardian at work every day so I generally peruse part of it on my tea break. In the G2 there was this Womens section about issues that are going to be important for women in 2007. Or possibly issues that were important in 2006. I didn’t read it. It was wank. This is why:

i) Practically everything in the Womens section is about fucking procreation. I know its a big part of life for some women, but to those women I say get a fucking life. I’m female. I’m also gay which means that unless I want to undergo IVF or something, children aren’t going to feature much in my life. In fact my life is not going to revolve even remotely around issues of pregnancy, childbirth, abortion, childcare, taking a break from work to have kids, etc. Ok I have periods, and will at some point go through the menopause, but this is not a big feature of my life. They’re just annoying hormonal things. I don’t want to read about how other women cope with them, not cus I’m one of those annoying women who think periods are gross (get over it, its just your body), but because its not fucking interesting.

ii) It doesnt even have that much to do with me being gay. Even if I fancied boys I would still be bored to death by all the ‘womens’ crap. Its kind of insulting in a way. ‘You are a women, therefore you should be interested in this.’ I guess you get the same kind of thing with men and the things that are marketed to them. Its just, jeez, broaden your interests outside your little gender world.

ii) I am still female despite all the crap about children not applying to me. So either the Women’s section should apply to me, or they should stop calling it a Women’s section and call it something more appropriate. Cus its not like I care if people write about childbirth or any of that, I know I don’t have to read it, so I don’t. What annoys me is that they are labelled women’s issues. Like somehow they can never be interesting or relevant to men. Take abortion for example. Thats not a bloody women’s issue, its a person issue. Its about human rights, personal freedom, and control over your body. And things like childcare, they should be the concern of everyone, not just women, not just mothers. Yet still its relegated to the women’s pages. Its kind of devaluing all that stuff y’know. Its women things so it doesnt come under the general heading of important issues but is sidelined into a little ‘Womens’ box.

I hope this left you with the same kind of ‘blah’ feeling it gave me after writing it.

FACT – Alligators can’t move backwards, as opposed to Crocodiles, who can

compilation tapes

i know she’s made him a compilation CD but tapes sound so much better. and old school.. yeah

well, i just wanted to say that this guy sounds like a bit of a wanker. When you’re making a compilation then you get what the compiler wants to give you and you don’t get on your hgh horse about what genres you are “into” and which ones in your opinion suck. He even gave her some pointers on how to put the cd together “I find the best way is to choose a certain genre or theme or idea and go with that”

Look, there are no god damn rules..or, there are so many there is no point in telling someone what to do because everyone has their own unique way of doing things, which is what makes life the rich frayed tapestry that it is! I guess there’s an argument for listing stuff you “detest” as this guy so lightly put it.. But other than that, it’s all about hearing stuff you may not usually listen to and perhaps even liking it. I think my friend and co-author here should have fucked him in the ass and done what she wanted. FOR SHE IS THE COMPILER! Too dramatic? Oh well.

I’ve got to go and pack for my long journey home, and wash the hair too. The nits have gone but it still itches.

P.S we still havent though of pseudonyms to differentiate between us. I’m very reluctant to go for “Hippy” and “Punk”

lets go and get wasted and kick in some faces

There is this guy who I am making a mix cd for cus we’re doing an internet trade thing. I asked him if there was any music he hated (he detests ‘melodic punk’ which was enough to make me worry). But also says:

“I mostly listen to sixties pop, psychedelia, prog & soul, jazz, punk bands, spazzy bands, arty indie bands, electronica, disco punk bands”

What kind of a fucking freak does he think I am? I would rather wear high heels than own a psychedelia, prog or electronica cd. Plus I’ll be fucked if I know what a ’spazzy’ band is.

It did give me chance to dig through some old cd’s I never listen to however, so he’s getting a bunch of nineties indie/pop like Silversun, the Crocketts, Symposium and Radish. Ahhh the old days.

The tracklist goes like this:

The Presidents of the United States of America – Carolyn’s Booty
Jawbreaker – Jinx Removing (Live)
The Crocketts – Mrs Donnelly
X – Soul Kitchen
Le Shok – Brett Cutts (Himself)
Buck 65 – Le 65isme
Silversun – I’ll See You Around
Friends of Ed – Misinformed
The Phenomenauts – Jamboree
Starmarket – When I Was Young
Raggity Anne – Lucy’s Having Problems
The Spits – Comp Song
The Okmoniks – A Little Bit More Hate
Symposium – Dissapear
The Profits – U.S.Atrocity
The Gossip – Jason’s Basement
Kill You Idols – Green
Social Distortion – Under My Thumb
The (International) Noise Conspiracy – New Empire Blues
Spazz – SoCal Battle Royale
The Exploding Hearts – Sleeping Aides and Razorblades
Radish – Little Pink Stars
The Manges – Surrender
Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band – Tubas in the Moonlight
The Moldy Peaches – Lazy Confessions

I like

1. my t-shirt with boobs and tea on
2. the idea of sporks
3. the noise mogwai make
4. this is supposed to be a joint effort, therefore i can say i like Mogwai, the band.
5. vitamin c
6. smoking rollies with tea
7. crack
8. the moldy peaches
9. herman hesse
10. horses
(11. being pedantic)
(12. even numbers)